Just when you thought it was safe, Pat & Kirby follow you home.

• If families are forever, will Mom always have gray hair?
• What happens when the dog makes more sense than your kids?
• Planned Parenthood. The perfect oxymoron?
• Is selling your teenager for 3 cents a pound really good family value?
• Fatherhood. Shouldn't I have a license to do this?

If questions like these plague you and yours - or worse, if they make sense - you need this book. Pat and Kirby delve deeply into the secrets of effective parenting (there are three, and no one knows what they are), and explore what makes relatively nice men and women want to hurt themselves by having kids.

The fourth in their wild conspiracy series that began with Sunday of the Living Dead, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby and cartoonist Pat Bagley join farces again, this time over something none of us can escape - family.