If you have someone like this in mind I’ll betcha it’s a woman.
Might be your mom, might be a friend. Probably it’s you. I don’t know why it is, but it’s so hard for most of us to see the positive impact of our everyday lives. We see the screw-ups pretty clearly, and we can remember them, in detail, for decades. It’s the everyday, just regular good stuff about ourselves that never gets celebrated. Maybe that’s why IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE keeps making us cry year after year.
I remember somebody telling me once that most songwriters only write one or two songs, and then basically write them over and over again using different melodies and words. That might be true for me. Sometimes I feel like my internal wiring just picks up on others’ goodness and flashes a message to the rest of my soul: RIGHTEOUSNESS ALERT!! WARNING, WARNING!! YOU’RE STANDING ON HOLY GROUND. HUMAN COMPASSION AT THREE O’CLOCK, COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF ITS DEGREES OF GOODNESS!!!
Along with this special wiring I also have a radar for those who beat themselves up, and sometimes for the tiniest of mistakes. It isn’t that these folks are by nature negative...they just have a magnifying glass in their brain when it comes to shortcomings.
Because I’ve seen this for so many years in so many different people...predominantly women I’ve known and admired and loved...I decided to smile at them and honor them in the same song.
Quarter to seven on a Thursday night
She’s running late again
She gets a ticket ‘cause she ran the light
Racing to help a friend
Then she remembers a promise made
A couple of weeks before
She’d bake the brownies for the PTA
But she’s run out of time
So she gets hers from the store
Quarter to seven on a Friday night
She’s running late again
What can she wear that’s gonna look just right
At the party she’s throwing for him?
Living on rice cakes and Diet Coke
She hasn’t lost that much
Her dress is too tight and her hair’s a joke
But the party’s a hit
‘Cause it had her magic touch
And she doesn’t know
That she’s an angel in disguise
And she doesn’t know
That we see heaven in her eyes
And she doesn’t know that she’s all right
She might have been blinded by the light
Of all the good that she does
That she doesn’t know
She’s been worried ‘bout the kids next door
Since the breakup last fall
Got them some T-shirts from a Hard Rock store
That they haven’t worn at all
Reading the paper about some plight
Plaguing a distant shore
Pulls out her checkbook and starts to write
And feels guilty she doesn’t send more
She doesn’t focus on the good she does
All she sees is where she’s failed her part
Can’t she see that we think she’s a saint
Because she’s givin’ all she has straight from her heart
Quarter to seven on a Sunday morn
She’s on her knees again
Aching for all who’ve been bruised and torn
She’s pleading for help for them
She has a rather extensive list
Of those she’s been praying for
But then she remembers the ones she missed
How sorry she feels once more
‘Cause she doesn’t know
That she’s an angel in disguise
And she doesn’t know that we see
Heaven in her eyes
And she doesn’t know that she’s all right
She might have been blinded by the light
Of all the good that she does
But she doesn’t see it because
She hits a traffic jam on a carpool morn
And feels guilty what she’s thinkin’
When she honks her horn
She wrote a sympathy note for her dear friend, Grace
But got it lost somewhere in cyberspace
And at the charity auction when she wanted to help
She raised her hands so many times she sort of bid against herself
She got the casserole made for her friend who was sick
But then apologized because the crust was too thick
She’s runnin’ to the soccer and the baseball games
She cheers for the teams but forgets their names
She doesn’t know that she’s a miracle
She doesn’t know her love is lyrical
She doesn’t know this song’s for her to hear
She doesn’t know that we are so sincere
She doesn’t know that she’s the best
She doesn’t know she’s passed the test
She doesn’t know, she doesn’t know
She doesn’t know
Could this possibly be you that this song is about? Could you be the angel in disguise in someone else’s life? Are you so busy doin’ the best you can that you’re blinded by the light of your own goodness?
If you’re answering “no” to these questions, and making a mental list of all the things on your list that haven’t yet been accomplished, will you just stop it...at least for a moment...and work with me on this.
Pretend for now, just pretend, that you’re the person in this song.
Quit laughing, we’re pretending. Get out the music and put it on your stereo. Crank it up and listen. Not with your ears but with your heart.
I’ll wait.
There was a moment, wasn’t there, while you were pretending, when something happened that was so touching it almost hurt to keep listening. The thought Could it be true? crossed your mind... Could you actually be that wonderful and that stupid at the same time?
Yes, you could, and you are, and that’s one of the reasons people love you so much. You’re a human being who makes mistakes and falls short and can’t quite get as much done as you want to in a day and guess what? If you weren’t here we’d be crying our eyes out because we’d miss you so much. We’d miss the way you laugh and the way you get mad at people that hurt others. We’d miss the stories you tell of your misadventures. We’d miss how blessed we’d feel when you pray for us. We’d miss the look on your face when you scoop the hot fudge directly out of the little pitcher and take it straight. We’d miss the way you sing along with Celine in the car when you don’t think anyone’s watching. We’d miss the way your eyes look when you’ve heard about someone’s heartache and the way your jaw tightens when you want to get revenge. We’d miss the brownies that you burned and the Mint Milanos you bought to replace them. We couldn’t stand watching Sleepless in Seattle without you. We’d miss the things we learned because of you. We’d miss the way we’ve been loved by you, even when you didn’t think you told us often enough. And we’d have felt totally cheated if we’d never known you. In fact, the world wouldn’t have a chance at being truly wonderful for us if you weren’t in it, being you.
Now that you’ve pretended that all of this is true, take a deep breath and come back to reality. Guess what? The truth hasn’t changed. Let yourself believe it.