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mom244ever

Posts: 14

Posted: 4 Nov 2009 01:07 PM
Subject: Receiving service

Why do I have such a hard time receiving service? I always feel like I'm inconveniencing someone. I know doing service isn't always convenient but this is the other way around. What do I do to get over these feelings and ask for help when I need it? I don't even feel like I can ask my husband for help sometimes let alone my VTs or other RS sisters.

pitterpatterchildren

Posts: 103

Posted: 4 Nov 2009 01:20 PM
Subject: Receiving service

This is going to sound cheesy, but you need to pray about it. I was in a situation for a long while where I HAD to accept the service. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had to learn to be grateful and smile. I had to constantly tell myself that it was someone elses turn to receive the blessings of service. I have learned to love the giver and to cherish the moment. Put yourself in the givers place and realize how it would make you feel to have the opportunity to help. I have found that when I found the way to ask, it was exactly the right thing for all of us. I have learned to be gracious and loving whether I am the receiver or the giver. Pour out your needs to your Heavenly Father and let Him guide you in who you tell about it.

ldsmomof5

Posts: 1198

Posted: 4 Nov 2009 03:40 PM
Subject: Receiving service

I know exactly how you feel and I am the type that will do it all myself if I can. I HATE to ask for help and it is for the same reason. I do not want to be a bother or inconveneince anyone. BUT...I have been told that when you deny someone the opportunity to serve you are denying them the blessings that they get for doing such an act.

If you feel you need help I say ask for it. I know that if someone needed my help I would be there is a heart beat and I think others feel the exact same way. That is the reason the church is so organized and that we have VT and HT. It is to help watch out for each other and to take care of each other.

nm_mom

Posts: 853

Posted: 5 Nov 2009 07:27 AM
Subject: Receiving service

I think it is something we have to learn. I don't know about anyone else, but I was raised with the idea that we are here to serve, not to be served. Growing up, we were always first in line to help. We took in many meals, my sisters and I always volunteered to babysit for temple day (a 12-hour stint) and if we weren't called, my mom had us call ward members and offer our services, we cleaned houses for people, we did Christmas service etc., etc. But I remember one time when my mom was sick and we were absolutely forbidden to tell anyone. A woman in our ward came and brought dinner one night and we were doghoused big time, though none of us told anyone that we needed service.

As an adult it has been a hard lesson for me to learn that I need to be able to allow someone else to receive the blessings of service. Perhaps that is one of the reasons that I still live in NM while my DH lives in CO. I have had to call on others for service many times while he has been gone because I finally realized I really *can't* do it all myself. It is definitely a struggle.

pitterpatterchildren

Posts: 103

Posted: 5 Nov 2009 07:51 AM
Subject: Receiving service

I was just online and looking at quotes (I post them at my office) and I found this one that I think fits this problem.
"The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served."
— Gordon B. Hinckley (Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes)
I think we need to allow others the privilege of serving and receiving the blessings of service once in awhile. When I need help, I ask myself, "Can I do this all by myself" I do not ask "should I", because that leaves it open for me to feel guilty. If the answer is that you cannot, for whatever reason, than you need to ask for help and let someone who CAN serve. It is no sin to need help. We all do from time to time.

kandyh

Posts: 1461

Posted: 5 Nov 2009 09:13 AM
Subject: Receiving service

Many years ago my mother was very ill. The RS wanted to come in and help us(the 6 children) I swore I could do it all. I did. I was only 13 at the time. But I managed. However when my mother finally was better many months later and back home from the hospital she told me how all the women in the ward were hurt that I would not let them help us. She told me that I had in a way deprived them of the blessings that they needed by not letting them serve. Since then I have been very careful to allow others to serve me so that they can get the blessing they deserve. I know I want to serve and would feel bad if someone would not let me.

jags

Posts: 121

Posted: 6 Nov 2009 01:49 AM
Subject: Receiving service

So true Kandy! I seem to be able to let others help me, but only with certain things. I keep barriers up. I am aware and remind myself that first, service is not always convenient and second, if people want to help I should give them the opportunity. We all want and need the blessings!

pitterpatterchildren

Posts: 103

Posted: 6 Nov 2009 11:24 AM
Subject: Receiving service

Besides that, it is so fun! Sometimes you just have to let the sisters have a little fun!