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jags

Posts: 121

Posted: 6 Nov 2009 01:45 AM
Subject: Need some advice and opinions

It would be nice to be done having children, but in my heart I do not feel done.

I have 3 kids. The youngest is almost 6! I am almost 34. I am very much overweight.

Do I seriously determine to lose atleast 50 lbs before I try to get pregnant, or do I just go for it now considering my age and the large space there will be between my children, knowing I have to be soooo careful about weight gain during pregnancy.

It seems kind of silly to me to think oh if I lose weight then I will gain it again having a baby, so why not just be pregnant now and then lose the weight. Well that doesn't seem silly, it IS silly.

The greater risk would be my weight, not my age, right? (If I wait I will be 35 or older, which we all know equals higher risks.)

I wish I weren't in this dilemma, but I know things could be worse and only recently have I even entertained the thought of conceiving at my current awful weight, but I am wondering if there is a reason for it.

Thanks for listening. I am grateful for any suggestions or thoughts.

I guess adoption could be an option. I've never felt strongly about it for me personally, but I think it is a beautiful thing.

endless

Posts: 103

Posted: 6 Nov 2009 10:24 AM
Subject: Need some advice and opinions

We are actually in similar situations. I am 34 and am pregnant with my third child. But my older two are 10 and 7. So there is a big gap but only because it took us over four years to get pregnant this time. I don't know why because it took only two months with both my previous pregnancies. I just feel it was up to Heavenly Father and it would happen when it was ment to happen.
Anyway, my point is you might not get pregnant right away. So while you are trying, in the mean time, try your best to eat good balanced meals and start walking everyday. If you are able to lose the weight before you get pregnant then you will have a much healthier pregnancy. But if you do get pregnant right away, congratulations! What a blessing that would be.

pitterpatterchildren

Posts: 103

Posted: 6 Nov 2009 11:23 AM
Subject: Need some advice and opinions

The best advice that I could give you is that it is between you, the Lord, and your husband. Together you decide what is best for you. I would be starting to walk and eat healthy. If you are even thinking about getting pregnant than you should not be "dieting". However, make sure that you change the way you eat to be healthy for your body. I had my last child when I was 41. High risk, yes, but absolutely worth it. Good luck to you!

penelopeanne

Posts: 1192

Posted: 7 Nov 2009 05:58 AM
Subject: Need some advice and opinions

Have you spoken with your doctor. there ways to control the weight while pregnant. the docs advice is very important to have.

Gail

floweraffair

Posts: 4814

Posted: 7 Nov 2009 08:16 AM
Subject: Need some advice and opinions

:)
I was 35 when I had my last baby. Also,very overweight, as I have been with all of my pregnancies. I did not start having them till I was 30 and had 3 of them.. so close.. All C~sections! (I had a oligohydramnios problem)

I do not fell like my weight was a big problem. My Doctor never talked/warned me about it, and as you can see by how close I had them..lol I do not have a hard time getting Pregnant~

So..The real reason I thought to Answer you..
I thought I would give you the time line in my Parents family:)
My oldest sibling is 22 years older than me, Next is 20 years older, next is 10 years then me..Each of the children in a different Decade ;) My Mom & Dad were 40 when I was born~ I feel BLESSED to be the last of the kids.. My family has always been very close even with all the spreads. They all loved me and spoiled me :) They still do. Our folks always said I was born to keep them young! :)

I do not mind being a mom who is a touch older than the other moms... I feel like I am a little more *seasoned* in my abilities;)

Do not let your age or the placement be something that keeps you from having a darling addition! If you have prayed and feel like your family is missing a person..well, you have the answer~

(Weight can be lost :D )

forman

Posts: 13022

Posted: 7 Nov 2009 09:06 AM
Subject: Need some advice and opinions

jags...Sounds like you are really thinking hard about this...

We all wish we could have the ideal time for alot of things...but if we waited we may never do alot of things.

That being said...being healthy is something to always work on...making a choice to possibly become pregnant will affect your health...I too believe you should talk to your dr as well. I do not know all your exact health issues...weight may not be the only factor to consider. Becoming pregnant does put a strain even on the healthiest of bodies.

Before I fully read your post...things were already going through my mind. Then I saw you mentioned adoption. I believe that many times people know they are not done having kids...and there are many ways to be a mom...or bring someone into your family. Just something to consider.

You may not have the answers but glad to hear you are seeking additional help...pray, speak to your dr...and I hope that you will find the help you are looking for.

momita

Posts: 584

Posted: 7 Nov 2009 08:43 PM
Subject: Need some advice and opinions

I had 7 pregnancies, 6 living children. My last was born when I was 36 and overweight. Granted, the circumstances were not ideal, but we knew we were supposed to have one more child, and I've never regretted doing what the Lord prompted me to do. As others have mentioned, I was careful to eat healthy foods and walked every day, and it was actually one of my best childbirth experiences. She was born healthy and I was fine. After she came, we knew we were done and our family was finally complete. I guess what I'd advise is that, if you feel the Lord is prompting you to have another child, He knows best! If circumstances allow, you might want to go to the temple and sit in the celestial room and have a conversation with Him so that you can feel some peace about it all.