Love Is a Choice: Making Your Marriage and Family Stronger
We all know that actions speak louder than words. We may say “I love you,” but do our actions back up that claim? Elder Lynn G. Robbins teaches us that love is more than a feeling — it is a commitment, a promise to be responsible, respectful, and responsive to the needs and experiences of other. And like any other action we undertake, perfecting the act of love requires a lifetime of practice and good choices.
As Elder Robbins teaches, the daily choices we make in our marriages and families are what shape lasting love. He helps us to recognize the role that our agency plays in developing forgiveness, patience, kindness, responsibility, and other virtuous traits. We come to see that as we actively try to do things differently, Christ helps us to be the people He wants us to be — people like Him.
Whether you're engaged to be married, a newlywed, or someone with decades of marriage under your belt, this counsel from an inspired leader will help you develop more Christlike love for those around you. As you draw closer to the Savior through your daily choices and actions, His love will fill your home.
By Maria Allen, Submitted on 2017-02-02
What a beautiful book. When I finished I cried. I was so over joyed in what I get to look forward to someday. I was so relieved that it was not based around intimacy, like some books that I have come across. No this book gave the insight of what love is meant to be and should be. I wish I could describe what was in my heart at the time I read it and finished it. I would 100% highly recommend this book to anyone.
By Rachelle J. Christensen, Submitted on 2015-07-02
This book started out great and continued on to WOW me with the incredible insight Robbins teaches. There were ideas that I hadn't thought about before that really connected with me and I feel has helped me over the past few weeks as I've been reading this book to improve the interaction with my family.
I love the chapter on Agency and Responsibility--that is 100% responsibility. Robbins nixes the prevailing attitude that naturally occurs when we sidestep our full responsibility for our own actions. He explains how idioms like "He made me mad." are totally incorrect and why. That sounds really simple but the way Robbins taught this concept created a shift in my paradigm. It has helped me when I've been disciplining my kids and they are doing the kid thing-- whining, no sir, but, But, BUT! I've said, "Please just accept responsibility for what you did. Say that you're sorry and let's see how we can fix this."
The other part I really love is how Robbins teaches about the love of Christ and our Heavenly Father, it is so pure in everything that they do--especially discipline. He explained that the root word of discipline is disciple and if we think of that--Christ's disciples it turns everything on its end when we think of how we want to discipline our children. This helped dispel the myths of old which still prevail among my parents and grandparents that you need to be physical or harsh to teach your child how to behave. Christ never taught in this way, so why do we think we need to treat our children in a manner less than Christ would have.
This book is really amazing. I mean it. I have marked so many passages and sections and I've told lots of people about it because I feel like it has helped me so much. This would be a perfect book for ANYONE, and excellent wedding gift, a book for any occasion. You should read this book. I hope you do and that you find nuggets of wisdom to improve the way you live your life with the motto that LOVE really is a CHOICE.
By Bonnie Harris, Submitted on 2015-06-24
This has been a very interesting, informative read. A lot of us read about falling in love and the perfect romance. We see it depicted on the big screen. We watch people fall in "love at first sight" and our hearts thrum and we set our expectations on what we believe love really is. This book shows us that love really is a choice. It shows us that we need to take responsibility for our own actions. We need to give marriages a chance, even when things get tough. Now I'm not saying that you should never get divorced. There are always exceptions and situations which are not healthy and people should get out of. All I'm saying is that this book gives great guidance on what love really is and can be. It is one that anyone and everyone who is in any type of relationship should read because it's not just in a marriage relationship that we love someone else.
By Heidi G., Submitted on 2015-06-23
Love makes the world go round, love of God, love of neighbors, love of family, and love of ourselves. Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of real love and Robbins spends most of one entire chapter discussing charity, what it is and why we should seek to be charitable. I especially liked the chart he included documenting each of the characteristics that Paul mentions related to charity in 1 Corinthians 13. He included both examples and nonexamples in the chart of charitable and noncharitable behavior. The point is made that love IS a choice, that falling in or out of love implies that we as humans are being acted on rather than acting of our own choice. Sharing scriptures and quotes from LDS Church leaders, the author clearly makes the point that we can CHOOSE to love others, especially our spouses and families.
With love being a choice, it then behooves us to take 100% responsibility for making that choice. The second chapter discusses the importance of being willing to be responsible for the choices we make in every respect of our lives. Robbins presents what he calls "The Anti-Responsibility List". Basically, the list is a whole bunch of ways human beings don't take responsibility for their lives whether it's making excuses, blaming others, letting fear hold sway, or anything else that prevents us from being proactive. Several examples are given both professional and personal that demonstrate the points being made.
Other topics covered in the book include self-reliance, love and agency in family life, as well as counsel on finances and family home evenings. All in all, I found this an amazing book with lots of useful counsel given that I for one need to implement in my life. I highly recommend this one.
By Alexis Tanner, Submitted on 2015-06-23
Robbins talks about our responsibility and agency in our marriages. He does a great job explaining how to use the Atonement, repentance, forgiveness, and developing Christlike characteristics to help and strengthen our marriage. I love the section in the book where he talks about raising children and to remember who they really are - children of God. With little children running around in my own home, this is not always the easiest thing to remember. :-)
In the rest of the book you will find advice on finances, unity, and Christlike virtues. Using quotes from General Authorities, scriptures references, and LDS literature, Robbins supports his writing and helps you recognize the truth in his words. This is a must read for anyone - married or not. It prepares you if you aren't married and helps you think about your own marriage if you are. There's so much great advice and truth that everyone needs in order to strengthen their marriage.
By Shauna Wheelwright, Submitted on 2015-06-13
This book is way beyond just good--it is phenomenal! A MUST-READ for EVERYONE!
There is just so much in this book--from simply showing your love... to using your agency... to being 100% responsible for your actions... to teaching your children... to finding true happiness through love... and more.
The author uses synonyms and antonyms to really clarify what love is--and the section about charity is profound!
I absolutely love this quote:
"Because love is as much a verb as it is a noun, the phrase 'I love you' is as much a promise of behavior and commitment as it is an expression of feeling. When we choose to love (the verb) and decide to act by expressing and showing it, only then can the noun of love begin to blossom."
Over and over I am reminded that love is the key to everything and this book clearly testifies of that truth.
Do not miss out on this book!
It is SO. SO. SO. GOOD!
You, as a person, will be strengthened.
Your relationships will be strengthened.
Your family will be strengthened.
Love really is the key -- and "love is a choice-"